17th day of Elul Teshuvah - I will get to it

Teshuvah? - I will get to it… When all my dusts settle.

There are many dusts,

each of them a zillion particles whirling beyond my control.

And if I move I only make things worse.

An email, a conversation, an argument,

yet another article in the papers,

an inner monologue of lashon hara - more dust, new dust.

Dust stirred.

Elul says let your dusts settle, so I need to stand still.

Stand still in the light and let my dusts settle, on me, around me, inside me.

Dust is more visible in the light, and will only settle if I stand still.

Tefilah? Seek light and stand still.

And when it settles dust exposes itself as meaningless.

Just dust. Mostly dead skin.

Stand up, shed and step aside.

Tzedakah? Move for a while in a dustless world.

Blow the shofar – Tekiah gedolah!

And start again.

Brian Doyle, Geiger Kolleg 2022 International Jewish Centre Brussels